This Is Just A Tribute

On 4 March 2005, a drunk driver went through a red robot and killed my father, grandmother and grandfather. Guess you can say that was the worst night of my life. If you've ever wondered what Alice feels like, try imagining waking up in a world where half of your family is all of a sudden nonexistent. Gone forever. Irrecoverable. It's something I would not wish upon anyone.

After a couple of years one starts to become normal again. Your grades improve, you make friends, you learn new things; time doesn't stop as it should. My life would be a lot different if this 'accident' hadn't happened. I have come to terms with that. Or I thought I had.

Today would have been my dad's 51st birthday. Usually, I'm not overly sad or anything on this day. But today, my word. I did not want to get out of bed, I was a pain to be around all day, I practically felt continuously on the edge of tears. The one thought on a loop in my head was, 'Daddy should be here.' And that was selfish. But it was my way of mourning. The problem with mourning is there's no rule to it, there's no norm to how long you can be depressed and irritate those around you (my poor boyfriend). I didn't want to be happy.

But this evening, while thinking over the day, I realized that I'm not really looking at the bigger picture. I could go into broader terms, mentioning all the other families who have been broken apart by drunk drivers and all that. What I thought of instead was my mom, who lost her parents and husband in a flash. That's when I discover I'm not hurting as much, it's not as bad. And, to top it off, Mom handled this day with a much better attitude than me. She celebrated our blessing. Which is why my mom's the bravest person in the world.

So here's to Roderick Clive Bishop. A man of patience and wisdom. Quiet and gentle. The guy that fell asleep watching TV, with me next to him. The cyclist. The bird-watcher. The audience to my show. The father that I never got to truly know, the father that will never get to walk me down the aisle. The son who phoned his mother in ecstatic hysterics, saying, "It's a girl, it's a girl!" The man who treated my mom like absolute gold.

I love you forever Dad.

Shane Hawley's 'Love You'

Just something to share - this poem really spoke to me.

Be patient
Because I love you a lot
But I want to love you
Like the weight of a freight train crashing into your chest
Like a slow motion sunrise on rewind
Like the Valentine’s time bomb that I mailed to your address
I want to love you like spam
So mushy that it’s gross yeah
I wanna love you like that

I wanna love you like Spiderman
All sticky and clingy and shit
And like Batman, all hardcore and repressed
And like Wolveriene
Which I should not have to spell out for your people
And I wanna love ya gently
Like ducks

I wanna love ya like water is wet
Like martinis are dry
Like when limbos get low
And when skaters get high yeah
I wanna love ya like that

I wanna love ya like anything in Old English
Amazing but impossible to understand
I wanna love you til it freaks you out
Like the church of Scientology or Michael Jackson’s face

I wanna love ya hard like calculus
Easy like cheerleaders
Soft like chinchillas
And sensitive like hair triggers

I wanna love like when the heavens open up
And the stars start to dance on a pitch black tapestry
And the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie

I wanna love ya
Like the abominable snowman loves his little bunny rabbit
Like Mr. T loves gold chains and pitying fools

I wanna love ya like dogs love Frisbees
Like Pyramus loves Thisbee
Like Santa Claus does chimneys
And like my dad loves whiskey
Yeah, I wanna love you like that

I wanna love ya gorgeous like a beauty queen
Psycho like a drama queen
And fabulous like a drag queen yeah
I wanna love ya like that

I wanna love ya like the one couple in this room who had really great sex last night
Mixed
With the one couple in this room who fell asleep in front of the TV last night
So that for the rest of our lives
During every commercial break
We go at it like animals
I wanna love ya like that

I wanna love ya like Christina Agulierra is dirty
Like Eminem is white
Like Carson Daily is lame
And like Katy Perry sucks
Or at least how I imagine she sucks

I wanna love you like Tom Cruise
All types of crazy baby
I wanna love ya like Jessica Simpson
Hot
And really slow yeah
I wanna love ya like that

I wanna love ya like bears give hugs
Like wind-chimes slow dance
Like raindrops kiss foreheads
And like hands read braille

I wanna love you broken like morse code
Humble like pie
Always like taxes
And perfect
Like the distance from your eyelashes to my glasses

I wanna love ya like driving in a Minnesota winter
A little scary because its impossible to stop so be patient
Because I love you a lot
But one day I’m gonna love ya like that

Me

Hello vast world of strangers and friends. I guess if I expect maybe one person to be interested in what I have to say, I should start by giving a short introduction to myself:

I'm Kris.
Yes, I'm a girl.
God's child (hence 'King's Bishop', so clever).
I'm 19, and dreading my 20s. I like being a teenager.
I live in the beautiful country of South Africa but long to travel.
I'm an English and History student (which is sometimes hard for me to believe).

I am writing this blog for the obscure desire to share little bits of my life. Don't quite get it, but hey. I think due to a bit of a dry patch of creativity, I'm trying to prove to myself that I can write. Even if I don't write well.

So here goes...